Saturday, April 19, 2014

TODAY IS HOLY SATURDAY

This day is Holy Saturday, the period of silence, stillness and deep waiting. Yesterday was Good Friday and with it the profound suffering of humanity made manifest in the Crucifixion of Christ. My soul has been made tender, raw through these last couple of days as I have been keenly aware of this walk. This walk, as Christ's is mixed with passion, suffering and feeling alone. At moments it seems as though there is no hope and yet just as Jesus fell along his road with his cross and was offered help so it is in my life. Jesus' face was wiped, Simon the Cyrene assisted him with his cross when it became to heavy and none of this was comfortable.

In the past couple of days my walk has been full of disappointments, hopes seemingly dashed and discouragement often flooding my soul in such a way that I have had to stop. My cares, my cross seemed to heavy. I simply had to and have to acknowledge it! This is not comfortable but true. Just as Christ needed help from Simon to carry his cross, so I have needed help in carrying mine. This is a time of letting go, recognizing loss and being dependent, vulnerable. It is the place where faith is summoned to come alive and live in trust. There is a part of this that must be walked alone to do its work for it is a moment that I become face to face with Jesus' humanity and Christ's Divinity. It is humbling and it causes me to be struck in awe and fall prostrate within my soul.

Hope seems a far when crucifixion takes place. In death and burial is silence, stillness and great waiting. It is Holy Saturday.

As the day moves forward there will begin the tremors and rumbling within my soul and my spirit as the stone is quaked away from my heart.

Can you hear it?

Today is Holy Saturday, for now I wait in silence.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

THE WASHING OF THE FEET OR IS IT FOOT?

THE WASHING OF THE FEET
OR
IS IT FOOT?

Today we as Christians observe Holy Thursday at which time Jesus the Servant washed the feet of his disciples. Today also marks one year ago that I had a right below the knee amputation. Both are solemn and both are humbling.

As I reflect on this day I ponder Jesus, his heart, sacrifice and love. I also ponder all of you. My communities of family, friends and strangers. How you as Jesus have shown care, humility, kindness and love. At times throughout this year it has been overwhelming and humbling as each of you have reflected that love and always with grace.

You, as instruments have been the hands and heart of Christ for me unknowingly but for me there has never been a doubt. The outpouring of your love has been ceaseless. Your words of encouragement, visiting me in the hospital, caring for me in my home when it was needed, shopping and preparing meals, wheeling me up the hills of San Francisco when I have been to tired or lazy, cheering me on every step as I have battled health insurance, your humor which has been as healing balm to me, your listening ears. All of you have been a comfort and deeply in your hearts embraced me and set me free of myself. You are that heart not only as individuals but as a community. I am grateful!

This year has shown me loss, grief and sorrow but it has also shown me life, power and the hope of resurrection. Nothing is for naught and all things do deep work within if we say yes, by grace and I have been given that grace. Grace that has come through all of your prayers whether it has been done in thought, word or deed. It has not always been easy but all of you have been present.

In the quiet of my mornings and the stillness of my nights I am moved within to a deeper space. A space that has caused me to recollect and to discern what is of death to the soul and what is of life. I choose life. It has had its share of mire and thorns along the way but it has been cleansing, full of freedom and opportunities to let go and realize what are the important things. These things are not really things at all but love, they are you.

As I go to Holy Thursday mass tonight and I observe the Washing of the Feet all of you will be with me. With me as I remember Jesus who washed the feet of his disciples but also the feet of all with tender mercy and compassion so all of you have done unto me. I may have only one physical foot but you have given me many.

May you experience that cleansing, unconditional love and compassion especially this day and night within the depths of your hearts.



Monday, April 7, 2014

YOU AWAKEN


It is only
You
Who awakens 
My
Lifeless soul

Who raises it up
And
Springs it into
Consciousness

Out of darkness

Blind

Distractions
Whirl 

Confusion
Chaos

Hurls one
Into a
Storm

Reason 
Relinquished

Searching
Slamming

Into
Fraudulent
Factualness

Fog

Despair

A cry

From the
Depths

Transcendent
Translucent

You
Emerge

Hope
 is
Your
Gift 

Truth
Is 
Your
Peace

Authenticity
Your
Piercing
Transformational
Light

You
Reclaim

My
Soul

Will Simpson
7 April, 2014