tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63807158206834663982024-03-20T02:50:24.074-07:00Penitus Iter ItinerisBillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-92003857125659306252016-08-13T17:44:00.004-07:002016-08-13T17:44:53.227-07:00FORGIVENESS, RECONCILIATION, HEALING AND A NEW LIFE<div class="p1">
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<span class="s1">Recently my sister Donna passed from this temporal life into life eternal, unfortunately I was not able to be at her bedside when this transition took place. At first this grieved me but then I remembered the death and new life of our relationship and how it evolved into a relationship of love, understanding and transparency. </span></div>
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<span class="s1">As children we were always attempting to rule one another, she the older sister, I the strong willed younger brother who would not listen to her or bend to her will. This may seem like ordinary sibling rivalry but it went much deeper. On my end it became competitive and eventually prideful. We had skirmishes, battles and at times outright war. I believed I knew what was best and I was right, often the most deadly form of arguments, to be right but forgetting about the damages it can bring to a relationship. As we grew older we tolerated each other at best and were never really comfortable with discussing anything of any real substance. At times you could feel viscerally the cold that ran between us, it was sad. I lacked hope of it ever getting better and I despaired believing my relationship with her would be like this forever. Why couldn’t our relationship be like the Cleavers or the Walton’s, I would think.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">In the mid nineteen nineties I entered a monastery to be formed as a Benedictine Monk. One evening I decided I would write my sister a letter thanking her for being supportive in my discernment to enter the monastery. Donna said, “I am surprised it took you this long, I remember you desired to do this since you were in your teens.” Although Donna and my relationship was strained she encouraged me in this as she knew it was an invitation that ran deep. My desk faced a solid brick wall and as I began to write I felt a heaviness on my chest as though the wall of bricks were going to cave in on me, I began to weep uncontrollably. Then without warning a soft, still voice stirred my heart and it whispered, “You are to ask forgiveness of your sister for the following things.” The list seemed endless and I did not believe I could do it but that voice spoke gently, directly and with grace. I began to recollect and to write. I asked forgiveness for never taking the time to listen to her, for being mouthy and sassy, disagreeing with her even when I did not understand the entire rational of her decisions and or her opinions, dismissing her, judging her and never taking her advice believing, I knew better. After I finished listing my offenses I once again heard that still, small voice, ‘You are also to say to your sister who she really is, a woman of mercy and compassion and where you have observed it.” I had noticed it many times throughout my life but I chose to be blind to it as I was full of pride. It was when she took care of her friend Kathy when she was dying of cancer and gave to the poor, opened her home and made people feel welcomed. It were the times she would sacrifice for others so they would have more and be comforted. In closing I wrote, “It is in fact you who have demonstrated the love of Christ through the years by your actions. May I in these coming days, months and years be able to do the same. What?! I thought I was the Christian, I was the example of good life. In fact it was my sister who in the words of St. Francis lived, “Preach the Gospel and if you must, use words.” Donna did not use words, she used acts of service, that was her way of speaking the Good News.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">The next day, early in the morning I went to mail that letter to Donna. As I went to place it in the mailbox I heard, “What are you crazy? Intimacy is not one of your family values!” I came from a traditional Irish Catholic family mixed with Scottish stoicism and with that comes not discussing difficult subjects nor showing your emotions in public. The quieter, deeper voice, the voice of the heart said, “That is your false self speaking, the true self, which is the spirit that dwells so richly within you inspired that letter. If you mail this letter I will bring healing and restoration to your family, what do you choose to do this day?” I was floored and before I had a second to think about it I let go of that letter and dropped it in the mailbox.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Over twenty years went by and Donna and I never spoke about that letter but our relationship was transformed! It became open, supportive and we listened to one another. We even followed each others suggestions and leaned on one another in challenging times. In her I found both wisdom and consolation. I could have never dreamt this was possible. It brought healing and restoration to us and it trickled down to other members of our family. Where there was once glacial interaction there was now a sense of warmth and acceptance, a sensitivity of understanding and awareness of support even when maybe, just maybe we did not agree.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">When Donna was invited home to our Creator I knew there was nothing left unsaid between us, there were no grievances but rather forgiveness, healing and restoration and in that the fruit of understanding, love and profound peace. I was able to wish her a blessed journey and knew that she would be there, on the other side of the veil to greet me so we could be at home, once again with each other and those who have gone before us.</span></div>
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Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-60693297676767666572016-07-31T00:29:00.002-07:002016-07-31T00:29:37.501-07:00<div class="p1">
<b><u><span class="s1"></span>REQUIESCAT IN PACE</u></b></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>In Memory</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Donna Simpson Baker</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>REQUIESCAT IN PACE</b></span></div>
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<span class="s2">On July 1 my sister Donna Simpson Baker was diagnosed with A-Plastic Thyroid Cancer. It is the most aggressive form of thyroid cancer of which, according to her oncologist only one percent of those diagnosed with thyroid cancer receive. Her oncologist gave her, from her </span><span class="s1">experience six months to live. As you can only imagine this was both a shock to her and to our family. My sister, after that initial jolt faced her diagnosis and prognosis with grace, peace and dignity. “I fully accept this diagnosis and prognosis” she said to me. “It is my time and I now enter this final portion of my journey with peace.” As difficult as that was to hear, I too knew I must accede to this with pain and sorrow and in so doing, accompany her on her journey to her last breath. I called her daily for a while until she no longer had the strength to speak but for a few minutes. Fortunately other family members were by her bedside day and night and served her in love, unity and humility. </span></div>
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<span class="s1">A week and a half after her diagnoses she returned to the oncologist and in that meeting it was discovered my sister’s cancer had spread to her breastbone, chest and lungs and her prognosis went from six months to “any day and no longer than three weeks.” Again she received the news with grace and went to her daughter Daniela’s house to prepare for hospice and for her final days on this side of eternity. She was greeted with open arms by Wayne and Paula, family members who assisted her in all things with affection and devotion in her remaining days. Her daughter and four grand daughters although grieving, poured out their love, stayed by her side and did everything to make her comfortable, appreciated and bathed in their love which was like no others. My brother Jim and his partner stood steadfastly with her and he was so close to her all through the years. His quiet presence resonated throughout the room in its stillness and tranquility. </span></div>
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<span class="s1">I was in California for these days where my sister instructed me to remain “until things calm down a little.” I made my reservation for the following Sunday believing I would be with her in her final days. Tindara, a lifelong friend of my niece Daniela is an RN Case Manager and who also has a close relationship with my sister. Tindara affectionately and respectfully managed all of her care and took care of every detail. This comforted me tremendously as I too am an RN Case Manager and I spoke with her daily and she was so attentive and efficient with every detail.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">On the Wednesday before my flight, July 20, I received a telephone call at 12:40 p.m. Pacific Time letting me know my sister Donna had transitioned from this side of the thin veil to the next. It had become a reality and interiorly I took a pause, full of grief but also grateful for God’s mercy in that this portion of her journey was expedited. This was something she desired and those of us who loved her also desired so she would not experience the tremendous and lengthy suffering that so often afflicts those in their final months with cancer.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">The night before my sister departed she received communion from the priest and he administered the Sacrament of The Last Rites, which my sister desired. After administering them he encouraged Donna to be attentive and to listen to the whisper of Jesus as he invited her to come home to him.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Our cousin Betsy had arrived from Boston the next day and she is the expressive one of the family. Betsy exudes comfort, compassion and mercy. Betsy has always been very close to our family and we and my sister share many fond memories with her. Betsy went to my sister’s side and she knew my sister was longing to have passage to the eternal. Betsy spoke softly and lovingly with Donna and comforted her and she invited my brother Jim, who was in the room to join her in praying with Donna. They held hands with her and stood on each side of her bed and Betsy let my sister know that I was in the room in my heart and in my spirit, that the family had spoken with one another and we wanted to give her permission to transition through the thin veil of eternity to complete her journey. She let her know that our parents, her Uncles and Aunts, her brother Ed and other family members would be there to welcome her. Twenty minutes later, Donna listened to that voice and without doubt fell into the loving arms of Jesus.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>AETERNE CARISSIMUS</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>SEMPER CARISSIMUS, NOBIS ES</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">I had the privilege of delivering my sister’s eulogy at her funeral mass after two of her grand daughters shared about their love and memories of their grand mother, better known as “Nana.” They were filled with depth mixed with amusing story telling.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">As I gazed out into the pews of people, in the Catholic church we attended as children it was filled with those who had a heart connection with my sister; family, friends, colleagues. I could not help but be moved by this and it was here that I began her eulogy. </span></div>
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<span class="s1">I greeted the Simpsons, Flynns, Ryans and Bakers as well as many others who were in attendance. I spoke of my sister’s gift of hospitality, inclusion and having the ability to welcome all into her home and other places where she hosted. It simply was a family gift of which she expressed most beautifully. She connected with people from the heart and it was that heart (connection) that brought us together this day.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">I saw Jason, the son of her best friend in life who had also made her passage many years ago, also from cancer. My sister and she were like sisters. They lived next door to one another, upstairs/downstairs, had children about the same age and they laughed together. There he was a pallbearer whom my sister requested to be at her side, personally. Our cousin Rosemary who was her Godmother and her sister Kathleen who remembered when she lived with my grandparents after a fire that destroyed her home at the age of eighteen and recalled my mother Margaret, pregnant with my sister. Wayne, my sisters former husband and father of their daughter who had, through the years become close friends, his wife Paula who also was a friend of my sister and together with Wayne served Donna with compassion in her final week. There amongst those attending were my cousins Bob, Jim, Sandy, Bunny with their spouses, also known as “The Simpson Clan” whom although we may not see them as much as when we were children the heart connection runs deep as they and their parents were always there for us. Our cousin Carolyn Flynn who always checked in with us through the years when I would be in from California and open her heart and home. What a family, what love!</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Then as I viewed to the left, there was my sister’s daughter Daniela and her four grand daughters, Marissa, Julianna, Katelynn and her fourth and oldest grand daughter Chelsea with her husband Rocky and my sister’s great grandson, Johnathan. It was then I was not only struck with the heart connection but my sister’s legacy. </span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>LEGATO</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">I remember a number of years ago when my brother Jim asked me, “When did Donna become Mom?” I inquired what he meant by that and he said, “Donna prays the Daily Office and says her rosary three and four times per day.” This did not surprise me as I remember my grandmother Mary Ryan Flynn and my mother Margaret Flynn Simpson doing the same. In fact I was told that even my great grandmother Anna Murphy did the same. I realized it is from generation to generation that God’s Holy Spirit is passed down and on another note……wow, our family must really need this, not to mention the world! So many mornings I would call my sister and she would gently remind me, “I am saying my prayers now, could you call me back in about an hour?” Another time, when I was very ill with kidney disease and before my transplant I asked my sister if she would pray for me, there was a pause and she answered, “I do…….morning, noon and night.” I was so moved, I cried because I knew she meant it. Her prayers were also demonstrated through the years with the compassion she exhibited for her family, friends and strangers. She poured her heart into her daughter and grand daughters. I particularly recall her friend Kathy whom she served and cared for in her last days. These were all prayers in action.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">As I looked at her daughter Daniela and grand daughters I knew, I sensed my sister’s presence. There before my eyes she was watching them, praying for them, encircling them with her love and perhaps saying, “I live in your memories, your hearts and I will not ever leave you.” Exhibited in them is her life that formed them, has a remarkable influence on them and in one another she will be reflected not only in their eyes but as they serve their Creator and humanity.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">As we said our final goodbyes, on this side of eternity we took a moment of silence to remember. To remember as individuals who she was, how she influenced and what in her life invites us to be closer to God and to one another. We then extended our right hands towards where she was laid and I led us corporately in a prayer of blessing for her, to release her to Christ, to her loved ones who waited for her and requested she wait for us in hope of the resurrection.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"> Donna Simpson Baker, pray with us.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b><i>REQUIESCAT IN PACE</i></b></span></div>
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Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-35505774357237061582016-01-03T21:48:00.002-08:002016-01-03T21:48:36.074-08:00<div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">
<b><u>The Word, Fulfilled</u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">We have </span><br />
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Navigated<br /><div>
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Not only because</div>
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of </div>
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How</div>
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The Promise</div>
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Long Anticipated</div>
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The Word</div>
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Fulfilled</div>
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Since the beginning</div>
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Come</div>
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Oh Come </div>
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Emmanuel</div>
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Rescue</div>
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Deliver</div>
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All of</div>
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Humanity</div>
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Releasing us </div>
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death</div>
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Restoring</div>
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Salvation</div>
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Freedom</div>
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Redemption</div>
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Our hearts </div>
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begin to pound</div>
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as we </div>
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Calm</div>
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silence</div>
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We bow</div>
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All of creation </div>
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and</div>
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rejoices</div>
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within </div>
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without</div>
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The Mystery</div>
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in </div>
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Proclaiming</div>
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Good News</div>
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to All</div>
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Rejoice, Rejoice</div>
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Emmanual</div>
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for you have liberated</div>
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All</div>
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All of</div>
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Creation</div>
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The Word</div>
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Fulfilled</div>
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Will Simpson</div>
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Feast of the Epiphany</div>
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January 3, 2916</div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-39991077795680954242015-02-28T01:46:00.001-08:002015-02-28T01:46:18.253-08:00"A LIFE IN TRANSFORMATION"<div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 11px; margin: 0px;">
<span class="" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b class="">A LENTEN REFLECTION SERIES</b></span></div>
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<span class="" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b class=""><i class="">“WHO DO YOU SAY I AM?”</i></b></span></div>
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<b class=""><i class=""><span class="" style="font-size: 11px;"><u class="">“</u></span><span class="" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 11px;"><u class="">A LIFE IN TRANSFORMATION"</u></span></i></b></div>
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<b class="">Friday, February 27, 2015"A LIFE IN TRANSFORMATION"</b></div>
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Metamorphoo (Greek); Metamorphosis, Transfigure, Transform! These are the words we use to describe the process of life changing from one way to another .It is a reversal that occurs from within and is demonstrated by actions. It takes place in the very core of our being. It changes our thoughts, our movements, our perspective of how we see ourselves and others and it is renewal, being born anew, giving way for the true and authentic self. This transformation takes place when the Divine Christos, the Chosen One covers our very spirit with the oil of healing and calls into life our true selves. The Season of Lent, of renewal especially invites us to be mindful of this divine process. It is in this time that we experience the shifting of our interior being and participate in the emergence of our pure identity from one character to another.</div>
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Over the past few weeks I have had to allow this to take place in myself and I have also had the privilege of observing it in others. By grace I have been able to look at myself and my addictions and how I have been asked to go deeper and look attentively how they have controlled my life. How they have been used to anesthetize me, deceitfully comfort me and have kept me from sincerely seeing who I really am. Why? Because I have lived in the fear of seeing myself where I have been hurt, disappointed and disillusioned, where I have resisted the call to go deeper into the darkness of the caves of my heart. This has been painful but I have been given grace daily to move forward and to travel into these places. In and through this I can already see little by little the shackles being loosed, my breath becoming more relaxed and filled with the fresh air of hope and my entire being covered with the oil of healing. I am becoming aware and alive! This takes place slowly with surrendering, again by grace to the Christ of mercy, being accountable to others which gives me the courage and permission to confess and in so doing become healed. I am calmly being drawn to who I really am. </div>
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The focal point of my addictions is food. I have had the light of the Divine permeate my thoughts, words and actions. That light has brought illumination to the crevices of my mind and heart that have cried out to be helped, to be rescued and to be brought into rebirth! I have also received the oil of healing in the stories of others. They have proclaimed their stories, their journeys and their struggles which have been overcome by grace, unconditional love, acceptance and courage. They have been a healing balm and an example of lives transformed!</div>
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Who do you say I am?</div>
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You, Oh Christ are the anointed One, the one who pours out your healing oil to my very soul!</div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-35094471142352439422015-02-19T00:55:00.000-08:002015-02-19T00:55:27.651-08:00WHO DO YOU SAY I AM?<div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 11px; margin: 0px;">
<span class="" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b class="">A LENTEN REFLECTION SERIES</b></span></div>
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<span class="" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b class=""><i class="">“WHO DO YOU SAY I AM?”</i></b></span></div>
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<span class="" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b class="">ASH WEDNESDAY</b></span></div>
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I am always struck of the bareness of the church when I enter on Ash Wednesday. Everything is covered, all signs of life, even the alleluias are not spoken for forty days! But yet there is a great silence, a quietness that invites my spirit to be still. It is as though all things have been put to sleep and is waiting in that silence. I look up and there is a plain cross and behind it is draped the color purple, the symbol of penance. I know this cross is inviting me to a deeper place, that place of sorrow, turning away from all the habits that hinder me. My addictions, fears, anxieties and my continued belief that I can do things on my own! This cross, this purple speaks to me just the opposite. It speaks with love, grace and mercy and invites me to receive these graces and unconditional love so I can be free. Free of the things that have hindered me this past year, months and days and sometimes my entire life! I am asked to turn away from them and to turn towards the cross and humble myself. Wow, what a concept to humble myself, it is so counterintuitive and countercultural. Lent though means spring and it is a time of renewal, letting go and the emergence of hope. I have not been promised that these forty days of Lent will be easy but I am promised new life and resurrection as I, by grace submit and let go to this amazing invitation that in time humbles me in a way that restores me and brings me deep peace. Are we not all sorry for things we have done, have failed to do? Do we not all have regrets and wished we had not done something? It is common unto all of humanity. Do we not all want to let go, turn from those hinderances and take a deep breath of freedom?</div>
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As I was walking to receive the ashes, I was also walking toward that plain cross. As the ashes were placed on my forehead and the sign of the cross was made I heard these words spoken; “From dust you have come, from dust you will return.” I knew I was in the Presence of the One who Created me, created me in the image and likeness of God…….I was humbled. For it is not I who is control, it is not I who can do it on my own (although often I think I can) but Christ in his mercy and love gives me the desire, softens my heart and moves me to change, repent if you will and to be transformed more deeply into that likeness and image deeply and authentically. It is here in these forty days that I experience death and in so doing I am renewed with the splendor of resurrection life!</div>
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<i class="">“Have this mind in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: who, existing in the form of God, counted not the being on an equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men; and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, becoming obedient even unto death, yea, the death of the cross.” </i></div>
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Phillippians 2:5-8</div>
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Humility (humble) is from the Latin word(s) humilitas, humilis which mean “of the earth,” low, grounded.”</div>
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I say, You Oh Christ are humble.</div>
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May each of us receive the graces of Lent, pour out our hearts and become renewed with Resurrection life!</div>
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Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-63350212818874229992014-12-28T22:22:00.000-08:002014-12-28T22:22:02.616-08:00THANK YOU, 2014<br />
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The year of 2014 has been filled with changes. It has brought new life and a deep gratitude for my Creator and for each one of you who have journeyed with me. This includes my family, my community at St. Agnes Church in San Francisco, my Dog Park Community and my community in my neighborhood of Cole Valley. Each of you have played a part in encouragement, challenging me to move ahead and through it all you have exhibited love. I am also grateful to my friends on Face Book. Often we think and say what a waste of time this is but FaceBook has allowed me to stay in contact with those near and far bringing together those whom I have known for decades and those whom I have known but a short time.</div>
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After being in a wheelchair for over a year I finally received my prosthesis for my right leg in the middle of June. Through an amazing physical therapy team which includes not only UCSF but friends from my neighborhood and dog park but also my co-workers at Enchanted Hills Camp in Napa. It was there that I initially began to walk during the summer. It was here where I needed to be vulnerable and a bit dependent as I took my first steps with a walker, a cane and eventually on my own free of any support devices. I am grateful.</div>
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In July I became a board member for the Independent Living Resource Center of San Francisco. This is an organization for advocacy for people with disabilities and paving ways for independence and freedom. This includes programs, speaking out for disability rights and advocacy. I am grateful for this opportunity to serve in this capacity.</div>
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August brought a family reunion on my mother”s side of the family, the Ryan’s. It was so wonderful to see cousins I haven’t seen in decades but were so close to when we were children. It was filled with joy. I was able to visit my brother and sister, niece and great nieces, Wayne and Paula and I was able to spend significant time with my cousin whom I call Aunt Rosemary. She has in many ways been a second mother to me over the years. I also got to spend time with my cousin Mike, his wife Jackie and their son and daughter Sarah and Tony. Mike and I were mischief makers as kids and guess what? We still are! </div>
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Lest I not forget the great lunch I had with some of my grammar, junior high and high school friends in Saratoga; Lynn Nutter Eddy, Susan Cramer Colleen Brundage, Maryanne Brundage Fredericks and Fred Lee. What a time it was reminiscing, looking at one another and thinking, Wow, we’ve not aged, we’ve grown richer and deeper and besides that we look great, just like we hadn’t aged much at all! Of course the lighting was a little dim, our vision isn't what it used to be but…….Hey!</div>
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I must also mention what a delight it was to spend time with an old, ok not old but long time childhood friend Tom Benson. </div>
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Onward to Boston where I spent time with Rich Arnold, his lovely wife Carolina, beautiful daughter Gabriela and Matt her ever clever and humorous fiancee. Rich is like a brother to me and he and I have known each other since SUNY Albany days. Rich donated one of his kidneys to me in January, 2010 and saved my life in the process.</div>
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On October 28cannot I started my own business in medical case management, VENIA CASE MANAGEMENT. I have been blessed thus far with five clients. It is both exciting and scary. </div>
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I have also been privileged to serve the poor and homeless this year in ways I never dreamt possible. I have gotten to know a number of people in the homeless community in our neighborhood and also have begun volunteering at the Wellness Center in San Francisco. The Wellness Center is part of a ministry through St. Vincent dePaul and many in our community at St. Agnes are a part of this. My hope is to begin a group called “Our Stories” which would encourage participants to share their stories, what gifts they believe they have and what have they done that day to encourage someone and to bring life and healing to them. I am also on an advisory board at the Wellness Center which is prayerfully discerning spiritual formation and spiritual direction. I am privileged to be a part of this. I also participated in early December at a retreat for Non Violent Communication. This was eye opening and it is my hope I will become more a part of this in this coming year.</div>
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Thank you, all of you for your love, encouragement, practical serving me when I was in need and your prayers. Words cannot express my true gratitude and the love I have for each of you.</div>
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May 2015 bring you peace in body, soul and spirit.</div>
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Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-92162238403171957822014-04-19T07:56:00.003-07:002014-04-19T07:56:23.892-07:00TODAY IS HOLY SATURDAY<div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 20px;">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">This day is Holy Saturday, the period of silence, stillness and deep waiting. Yesterday was Good Friday and with it the profound suffering of humanity made manifest in the Crucifixion of Christ. My soul has been made tender, raw through these last couple of days as I have been keenly aware of this walk. This walk, as Christ's is mixed with passion, suffering and feeling alone. At moments it seems as though there is no hope and yet just as Jesus fell along his road with his cross and was offered help so it is in my life. Jesus' face was wiped, Simon the Cyrene assisted him with his cross when it became to heavy and none of this was comfortable.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">In the past couple of days my walk has been full of disappointments, hopes seemingly dashed and discouragement often flooding my soul in such a way that I have had to stop. My cares, my cross seemed to heavy. I simply had to and have to acknowledge it! This is not comfortable but true. Just as Christ needed help from Simon to carry his cross, so I have needed help in carrying mine. This is a time of letting go, recognizing loss and being dependent, vulnerable. It is the place where faith is summoned to come alive and live in trust. There is a part of this that must be walked alone to do its work for it is a moment that I become face to face with Jesus' humanity and Christ's Divinity. It is humbling and it causes me to be struck in awe and fall prostrate within my soul.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Hope seems a far when crucifixion takes place. In death and burial is silence, stillness and great waiting. It is Holy Saturday.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">As the day moves forward there will begin the tremors and rumbling within my soul and my spirit as the stone is quaked away from my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Today is Holy Saturday, for now I wait in silence.</span></div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-63191543240307601992014-04-17T07:01:00.000-07:002014-04-17T07:01:06.358-07:00THE WASHING OF THE FEET OR IS IT FOOT?THE WASHING OF THE FEET<br />
OR<br />
IS IT FOOT?<br />
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Today we as Christians observe Holy Thursday at which time Jesus the Servant washed the feet of his disciples. Today also marks one year ago that I had a right below the knee amputation. Both are solemn and both are humbling.<br />
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As I reflect on this day I ponder Jesus, his heart, sacrifice and love. I also ponder all of you. My communities of family, friends and strangers. How you as Jesus have shown care, humility, kindness and love. At times throughout this year it has been overwhelming and humbling as each of you have reflected that love and always with grace.<br />
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You, as instruments have been the hands and heart of Christ for me unknowingly but for me there has never been a doubt. The outpouring of your love has been ceaseless. Your words of encouragement, visiting me in the hospital, caring for me in my home when it was needed, shopping and preparing meals, wheeling me up the hills of San Francisco when I have been to tired or lazy, cheering me on every step as I have battled health insurance, your humor which has been as healing balm to me, your listening ears. All of you have been a comfort and deeply in your hearts embraced me and set me free of myself. You are that heart not only as individuals but as a community. I am grateful!<br />
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This year has shown me loss, grief and sorrow but it has also shown me life, power and the hope of resurrection. Nothing is for naught and all things do deep work within if we say yes, by grace and I have been given that grace. Grace that has come through all of your prayers whether it has been done in thought, word or deed. It has not always been easy but all of you have been present.<br />
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In the quiet of my mornings and the stillness of my nights I am moved within to a deeper space. A space that has caused me to recollect and to discern what is of death to the soul and what is of life. I choose life. It has had its share of mire and thorns along the way but it has been cleansing, full of freedom and opportunities to let go and realize what are the important things. These things are not really things at all but love, they are you.<br />
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As I go to Holy Thursday mass tonight and I observe the Washing of the Feet all of you will be with me. With me as I remember Jesus who washed the feet of his disciples but also the feet of all with tender mercy and compassion so all of you have done unto me. I may have only one physical foot but you have given me many.<br />
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May you experience that cleansing, unconditional love and compassion especially this day and night within the depths of your hearts.<br />
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<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-17830528191281287052014-04-07T08:36:00.001-07:002014-04-07T08:37:37.542-07:00YOU AWAKEN<br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">It is only</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">You</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Lifeless soul</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Whirl </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Fraudulent</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">From the</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Transcendent</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Translucent</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> is</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Piercing</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Transformational</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Light</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">You</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">My</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><b><i>Will Simpson</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><b><i>7 April, 2014</i></b></span></div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-24954788799431996222014-03-21T07:53:00.001-07:002014-03-21T07:53:12.243-07:00BALM FOR THE SOUL<br />
From a distance as I entered the Dog Park I saw three homeless men I recognized waving to me, one of them was A.J.with his pit bull Back-up. I acknowledged them but continued onto a different part of the park as I was with a friend whom I wanted to catch up with. Moments later A.J. came over and sat across from me and with an anxious look asked, "How do you handle stress?" Wow, I was not expecting that greeting!<br />
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I have known A.J. for two years from the dog park. He is a young man whose street name is Books. He acquired that name as he is a voracious reader. He is also a talented musician who composes and records using his simple equipment, a laptop and a microphone.<br />
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I shared with A.J. my practice of daily meditation, breathing, bringing these concerns to our Creator and one by one asking for the grace to let go. In the process taking the necessary steps one by one to resolve them if possible.<br />
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A.J. listened but in reality wanted to be heard. He shared his anxiety regarding a project he was working on as a musician and "It has to be perfect!" "I'm under a lot of pressure from my friends on the street to make it, I need to prove myself and I have a deadline of April 1st. I want to share my love and bring unity to the streets. There is another dude who I feel like I am competing with. He has flashy clothes, the look and all the high tech equipment available to him. I feel overwhelmed by this."<br />
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There is a pause.<br />
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A.J., do you believe you are gifted, that you are creative?"<br />
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"Yes, I do."<br />
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"Where does that gift and creativity come from?, I inquired.<br />
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"It is from God", he answered without hesitation.<br />
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"Could you be being invited to letting go of your own strength and ability and exercising your faith?"<br />
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"Yes, yes, I believe I am."<br />
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"You are gifted and creative A.J., I have heard your music, it is beautiful and you know what else? You are unconditionally loved by your Creator who loves and accepts you for simply you."<br />
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These were not just words of assurance but the words of life.<br />
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"Would you like me to pray for you A.J."<br />
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"Oh yes, yes I would."<br />
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We prayed but you know what? As I touched his head the prayer turned into a blessing for who he was, his gifting and that he would experience the love of God and he too would not only arrange and play instruments but be an instrument of that love.<br />
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That love was palpable.<br />
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A.J. tightly gripped my hands, let go and then threw his arms around eme and said, "I love you."<br />
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"I love you too, A.J."<br />
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As he was leaving with his friends an old song began to play within me,<br />
"There is a Balm in Gilead for you.........and for me."<br />
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I am humbled.<br />
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<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-32149089811564204062014-03-12T02:31:00.001-07:002014-03-12T02:31:21.567-07:00THE CHOICE OF LIFE<div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 20px;">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Throughout the past couple of days the readings for Lent have spoken of grace, forgiveness, journeying deeper and mercy. These are words that are not just for contemplation but action. Every day action and interaction!</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I am brought to places that encourage it, call it forward and some times simply demands it. It is not simply esoteric but has flesh and blood, breath, life and movement. It pulses to come alive and into action by listening, being present, demonstrating genuine love for those I encounter. Those whom I know and those whom I don't. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">It involves being awake to my inner movements which some times have tension and choosing by grace to extend that grace, mercy and love to others. To pause, to breathe, to be present. This is what brings life not only to me but to others.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">May each of us choose life, to be present, to listen and may it come from the depths of our beings where the Source of all life dwells.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>"Good God, keep me forever inside your abundant and generous flow of mercy, toward me, through me, in me, and from me."</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">("Wondrous Encounters; Scriptures For Lent," Richard Rohr</span></div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-61894494968705579802014-03-09T23:12:00.002-07:002014-03-09T23:12:26.284-07:00GOD IS LOVE<br />
Recently I went with a friend to see the new cinema release, "Son of God." I must admit I have seen a lot of "Jesus" movies and each has something to offer but this one was different. This movie was simple in its presentation and its main focus was "God is Love." Oh, I know we hear that time and time again and some times it almost seems cliche, but is it?<br />
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In reality many of us have heard the opposite. We have heard of God's wrath and a set of rules. Ones that have brought fear and instead of drawing us to the source of all life it has often caused us to run from it!<br />
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In watching the movie I could not help to be moved by the very opposite. In it the Gospels, the Good News came to life. There before me the message was clear."God is Love." No matter what we are embraced by this love, mercy and forgiveness. Throughout the movie perhaps the most repeated phrase and so often in the Gospels is, "Do not be afraid, I am with you." How often do we hear that? How often does that calm the storm within our hearts<br />
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I was moved when Christ appeared after his resurrection and looked at Thomas with the eyes of love, held his head in his hands and said, "Thomas, do not doubt. You see and believe but happy are those who do not see but yet believe." Thomas was changed forever.<br />
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Time and again this love is shown in the Gospels; the paralytic man, the Samaritan woman, the diseased. Where in your life is that unconditional love shown? Where have you seen it take place in others? Where have you been an instrument to others and others towards you?<br />
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Today we remember Jesus being sent into the desert where he was tempted and by grace came through them. We too, during this season of Lent enter forty days and where are we tempted? Where do we desire to come through and where are we invited to go deeper and receive grace, mercy and unconditional love?<br />
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Let us journey together following the example of the One who has paved the way before us.<br />
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The Way of the Cross.<br />
<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-31404133472850930812014-03-08T06:17:00.001-08:002014-03-08T06:17:30.089-08:00ADAM, FOLLOW ME<br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">As so many other early evenings I spent some time in our neighborhood dog park with my dog McGregor and socializing with friends from the neighborhood last evening. This evening was buzzing with lots of dogs and people as the weather was warm and the days were getting longer. This night was different though. Sitting on one of the benches, quietly and involved in reading on his cell phone was a man with a very full salt and pepper beard, thick long hair, pulled back wearing a woolen cap. I could not help but notice there was something very Orthodox in his appearance. Is he a young Orthodox priest? He looked as many I had known.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">As the evening went on I asked him his name as McGregor was jumping on his lap, wagging his tail and receiving countless strokes of affection. "My name is Adam'" he stated. As I listened Adam began to share his story. He was Israeli, has been living in the U.S. and San Francisco for ten years, was a laborer and had a side job. He began to share his side job and his living on the edge lifestyle. It was dangerous and a profession that much of society would not only condemn but perhaps feel anger and repulsed. I too for a moment was taken aback! </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">"What am I doing talking to this guy? Is he safe?"</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The conversation, but mostly the listening went on for an hour and a half, before I knew it, it was dark and the only two people in the park were he and I. He shared his encounters of his second job and stories, lots of stories. He had been assaulted, injured but yet continued his job. "I need to be safer, I look out for myself, I avoid situations that place me in danger." Adam shared details regarding his profession and in some ways I was perplexed but yet it was obvious he wanted to and possibly had to share.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">While our encounter was taking place I could not help but think of Levi when he was called by Jesus. Adam was in a profession that people loathed, he did it so "I can make money, it isn't easy out there, I am behind in rent." Adam was hurting.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Adam also shared foundational beliefs he was formed in as a boy that came from his conventional Jewish upbringing. It was intriguing to hear as it interwove through the conversation but was also in such dichotomy of his profession. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">When I opened the readings for today for Lent, what should one of them be?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> <i>Jesus saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the customs post. He said to him, «Follow me.» </i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>And leaving everything behind, he got up and followed him.</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>Then Levi gave a great banquet for him in his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were at table with them. </i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>The Pharisees and their scribes complained to his disciples, saying, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" </i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>Jesus said to them in reply, "Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do. </i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners." </i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Levi was asked by Jesus to, "Follow Me." Could it be that Adam is being asked to do the same?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">As we parted company I found myself looking into Adam's eyes, clasping each others hand, I said"Grace and safety to you Adam, be safe, take care of yourself." </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Adam also looked squarely into mine and responded, "thank you, I will."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">With that we both agreed we would meet again in the next week and allow our journeys to unfold. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>"The healthy do not need a doctor, but sick people do. I have not come to coddle the comfortable, but to set trapped people free for a new life." </i> Luke 5: 31-32</span></div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-60094639594576628542014-03-07T01:13:00.001-08:002014-03-07T01:13:29.528-08:00OBLIGATION TO FREEDOM<div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 20px;">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Often our question before Lent is,"What am I to give up? What am I to sacrifice? What am I to take a break from or fast? We wrestle with inquiries from, shall it be chocolate?Alcohol? Or is it some other vice that holds us back or has control over us? Do we do it out of duty to what we were taught that which is the right or correct thing to do? Often this is done without really knowing why we are doing it. This becomes tedious, empty and simply motion, often without meaning. Sometimes we become prideful, other instances frustrated and our hearts become like stone.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">We become trapped not only by what we are trying to give up but in the duty to perform it.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Where is our source of strength? Is it in ourselves? Who are we trying to please? For me this has always led to defeat and disappointment. I became weary of duty, of trying to please. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">In today's reading in our journey of Lent we are shown the difference from a fast that is one of duty and being trapped, to one that offers grace and mercy. Through this a conversion and softening of our heart takes place and we move from obligation to a heart of tenderness. From shackles to freedom!</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">In Isaiah it is declared by Yahweh that this is the fast we are to keep;</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>and undo the thongs of the yoke,</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>To let the oppressed go free,</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>and break every yoke,</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>to share your bread with the hungry,</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>and shelter the homeless poor,</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>to clothe the person you see to be naked</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>and not turn from your own kin?</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>Then will your light shine like the dawn</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>and your wound be quickly healed over</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">May we as individuals and as a community be converted in this way so our hearts may be tender, we move from shackles to freedom and our wounds and the wounds of others "may be quickly healed."</span></div>
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Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-10114111982664954252014-03-06T01:45:00.000-08:002014-03-06T01:47:20.691-08:00AGNUS DEI<br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I entered the church for the 5:30 mass, it was dimly lit, barren as though it were asleep. There before me, before us, up in the front for all to see was the Cross, without Christ's body brought to focus with the deep purple drape that unfolded behind it. It spoke of the journey that Jesus would make, that we are invited to make with him during these 40 days. A road that will give us an opportunity to let go of the habits, thoughts and behaviors that have held us back from freedom. A chance to go deeper into our hearts and by grace say "yes, yes I will follow, I too will pick up my cross and follow after you." </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">There will be pain, there will be suffering but with it in time, new life. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">High above the Cross was the beautifully illumined image of a lamb and just before we partook of the Eucharistic meal the Cantor softly began to chant;</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>(Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world.</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>Lamb of God , you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace</i>.)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">May each of us deeply experience the breadth of that chant in these 40 days.</span></div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-47104754089046505702014-03-05T09:33:00.001-08:002014-03-05T09:33:06.653-08:00SLEEP........BUT YET<br />
In the past couple of months the importance of sleep has been in the news. It has appeared in print, the internet and in interviews on NPR. One of the main purposes for sleep, according to the experts is for our brains to be "swept clean." To be clean of the information that clutters and to bring to the forefront the memories and interactions we have had to the forefront. The purpose of this is so when we are awakened we are refreshed, alert and focused.<br />
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For me this begs the question during this season of Lent, "where does my heart, my mind need to be "swept clean?" Where do I need to confess and to forgive? What memories do I need to be refreshed and awakened? As I begin this holy season of Lent, and journey through the cross and experience its cleansing and mercy, may I also come alive and be awakened in newness in the resurrection.<br />
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Kyrie Eleison<br />
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Blessed Lent.<br />
<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-15606873757821210052014-03-01T08:19:00.000-08:002014-03-01T08:19:11.363-08:00IT IS SPRING!<br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The Season of Lent (spring, renewal) will begin once again this Wednesday with Ash Wednesday. It is a time we are invited to go deeper into our spiritual lives and to follow Jesus in his humanity and his divinity; "Fully Human, Fully Divine." In his humanity with all of his struggles and temptations and in his divinity, God Incarnate. This season is to be experienced. It is past human reasoning but a mystery of faith. Invited, called to descend in order to ascend and in between, letting go, dying to the things that grip us so tightly and sometimes or perhaps always suffering in some way deeply. None of us want to die or let go, none of us give up easily to change and none of us want to suffer but we all do. Our hearts long for change, healing and restoration but our fears and even our some times comfortable lifestyles resist it but yet we are asked, "Come follow me."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">This invitation is not for the sake of suffering for sufferings sake or dying for dyings sake but for true change to occur, a new and renewed life to emerge, a resurrected life. One that is filled with life, compassion and mercy. One that pours out to others and reflects the goodness and love of Christ. We, by grace are asked to share in this.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">How do we do this? For me this year I am being invited to gaze upon the crucified Christ. I remember doing this as a daily practice when I was a monk and in that gaze came a softening of my heart. I would sometimes simply gaze but other times have a phrase or mantra I would repeat. One example of this would be "You, oh Christ are full of mercy." Well, guess what? Christ already knows this but by this acknowledgment I not only placed myself under that cross full of mercy but my heart began to soften, to change. As this occurred I would be aware throughout the day and faith and grace were asked to be put into action! Where, when and to whom was I being asked to show mercy to? It often came at the most inconvenient times, when I didn't want to, when I was in a situation where I might have been "right" or felt transgressed. Really? Now you want me to show mercy? </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">As my heart was softened so conversion took place deep within and when moments happened throughout the day to extend mercy so the transformation of my life emerged.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Where are you being invited this season of Lent? Where are you being asked to let go, to die so you might authentically live?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The words come to me, perhaps to you, "Be not afraid, I am with you."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">It is by grace we are brought from death into life.</span></div>
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<br style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 20px;" />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-9034920281366458232014-02-26T06:21:00.004-08:002014-02-26T06:21:30.906-08:00IN UNIONIN UNION<br />
<br />
May I Become<br />
Lost<br />
In Your<br />
Resurrected Spirit<br />
Revivified<br />
Reawakened<br />
<br />
In Union<br />
<br />
For All<br />
Who I am<br />
All that<br />
I will be<br />
But especially<br />
In<br />
This present<br />
Moment<br />
<br />
For I<br />
Taste<br />
and<br />
See<br />
<br />
Your Goodness<br />
Your Grace<br />
Your Everlasting<br />
Enveloping<br />
Love<br />
Constant<br />
in<br />
Mercy<br />
Ever<br />
Encompassing<br />
<br />
<br />
For This<br />
I am<br />
Ever Changed<br />
Forever<br />
Grateful<br />
<br />
Will Simpson<br />
26 February, 2014<br />
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Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-64537564710088874002014-02-20T07:34:00.002-08:002014-02-20T07:34:53.661-08:00A JOURNEY OF GRACE<div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 20px;">
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">"Nine Days of Grace" is a journey our Jesuit Community in San Francisco are going through this past week in a half. It has been based in the richness of the Gospels, the reading of the qualities of love from 1 Corinthians 13 and the humble prayer of Father Pedro Arupe, S.J.:</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Nothing is more practical than</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">in a quite absolute, final way.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">It will decide</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">what you do with your evenings,</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">what you read, whom you know,</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Fall in Love, stay in love,</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">and it will decide everything.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Each day and evening has had a focus on love. Love is kind, love is merciful, love is hope and humble. Love endures all things. Wow, wait a minute, all things? The other evening I found myself confessing to one of our priests the unforgiveness I have been carrying towards some long time and dear friends of mine. It has gnawed at me and caused deep inner turmoil and grief. I am accustomed to letting go and by grace have often found it easy to forgive but this time has been difficult. Love endures all things has been one of the messages and it has resounded deeply in my soul. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The priest looked at me knowingly, with compassion and looked deeply not so much into my eyes but into my soul and shared his own journey and then said, "Ask Jesus how he endures you, ask him to remind you and say the "Our Father." Woe, "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Stopped, dead in my tracks, deep conviction and awareness but with it grace. The grace that is so willingly given to me with mercy. It is a digging into my true self that longs to have my heart converted and to have it be authentically so. To endure also means to face, to suffer and so it is I have been asked to do not for its own sake but for love and grace to do its work deeply so it might breathe life not only into my soul but to those who I forgive. In so doing grace bears the fruit of love and in so doing freedom and resurrection life.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">May it be so.</span></div>
Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-39411865390081416362014-02-11T08:01:00.003-08:002014-02-11T08:01:46.984-08:00ShhhhShhhhh, listen to the silence. Stillness, peace and in the early morning before dawn, darkness. No words, just silence. So it is in my soul. There is a gentle glimmer and movement and in the darkness which seems so enveloping is a subtle sliver of light, but yet silence. As the stars emanate their delicate light so does that Mystery quietly illumine my soul. There is not fear but stillness, solace, silence. A sense of Oneness with the Universe, the I Am, the One whose name can not be uttered because of awe. I am as calm water without ripples but deeply beneath there is a fresh, life giving spring. So is my soul, so is my soul.Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-14593240614381272252013-12-22T21:54:00.001-08:002013-12-23T01:34:27.207-08:00MY BELOVED BECKONS<br />
The Shepherd came to visit yesterday to gently guide my beloved friend from this side of the veil to the next. A ray of sunlight beamed through the window as the words were proclaimed; "The Lord is my Shepherd"......the Lord! It is he who leads me, guides me, sustains me in peace........I will not fear, for he with his Divine mercy and love comforts me. My soul is awakened and yet at rest. He has prepared a banqueting table for me......for me! I will live, dwell and abide in your house forever!<br />
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It was as though my friend was speaking, reassuring us, letting us know that all is alright, all is at peace, I am fine, I am free! I love you but my cherished one has called for me.<br />
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The light shown brightly as this was spoken, it was full of assurance and grace.<br />
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We went to the burial place, on green hills overlooking the city. It was pastoral, serene, full of resplendent light and it spoke not only of death but of new life, of resurrection hope. There before us was our daughter, our sister, our aunt and our friend.<br />
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There was grief.<br />
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As the burial ceremony concluded there appeared two deer on the horizon whose silhouettes were sketched by the mid afternoon sun. Could it be they were her escorts to gently usher her through the thin veil, the veil of eternity?<br />
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"My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room."<br />
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There they were peering through the veil of eternity perhaps singing, "Come away my beloved."<br />
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"My beloved is he and he is mine."<br />
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Go in peace our beloved.<br />
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We will see you in the light.<br />
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<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-70737611529973860802013-12-04T11:36:00.001-08:002013-12-04T11:36:28.292-08:00YOU HAVE PREPARED A BANQUETING TABLE FOR METoday on our journey through Advent the Psalmist speaks to us about a banqueting table being prepared for us. In the Gospel we reflect on the loaves and fishes being served and in Isaiah we read about a feast. We are in the Advent/Christmas season where often great feasting takes place. Feasting always involves preparation, waiting for the delectable delights to be ready to savor and it involves community. There is the tantalizing fragrances of the various foods cooking and we wait in hopeful anticipation to partake in what will bring to us delight and nourishment.<br />
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In community we experience as we prepare and wait together a bonding that is like no other. We share stories, laugh with joy, remember those who used to join us, all while we prepare and wait.<br />
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Then there is the feast! We commune together, delight in not only the food that is presented but one another. We toast, give our praises to the hosts and merriment and mirth ensue!<br />
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This Advent season I can not be more engaged with these preparations and festivities as I have had spent them with family and friends. The closeness and love that lies deep.<br />
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This has become even more evident as the years have gone by and I have come to realize my feasting is much more than the tangible food but the feasting is of the heart. It is here where our spirits are fed and nourished, where we connect more deeply and where we experience the authentic Communion.<br />
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Fish and loaves to feed our bodies, wine and bread to feed our souls.<br />
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"You have prepared a banqueting table for me."<br />
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Yesterday, my friend accepted that invitation to be at that Banqueting Table and in so doing her wait has been fulfilled.<br />
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<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-15060145598550253002013-12-03T19:46:00.000-08:002013-12-03T19:46:03.674-08:00THE BRIDEGROOM COMES<br />
Advent means to wait. To wait for the revelation and coming of Christ and to emerge from darkness into transformational light!<br />
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Today, I have a dear friend who is waiting and is journeying to that light. She is surrounded by loved ones who wait with her. It is hard to wait but at the same time there is great hope and expectation. The hope that in darkness, light awaits us and reveals itself and the expectation of hope fulfilled in death to resurrection.<br />
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There is a wooing taking place that gently whispers my friends name and invites her through the thin veil of this side of eternity to the other. She is surrounded by those who love her, hold her dear and we are challenged to let go of her as she is invited to where we have not yet received the invitation. We love her. We are in conflict to let her go. We want to hold on but yet she is invited. There is weeping, caressing, grieving and some anger but yet, she is invited.<br />
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Who is knocking on her heart, waiting at the door, greeting her with compassion and acceptance? Is it not for whom we wait, the Christ who is full of mercy and unconditional love.<br />
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Let us let go today releasing her to freedom, to life, from darkness to light for she has waited and her Bridegroom has come!<br />
<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-64815247285112331762013-11-02T22:57:00.000-07:002013-11-02T22:57:16.117-07:00Anne Lamott<br />
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I had the pleasure of listening to the author Anne Lamott last Saturday on a radio program called West Coast Live. I was inspired, challenged and felt somehow affirmed. Ms. Lamott is real, authentic, gritty and fills ones senses with inspiration and hope. She is humorous as she shares everyday life and challenges but then she pauses and I sense her spirit shifting and then she shares deeply from her heart with mercy, understanding and compassion. Her heart unfolds with a deep sense of "I have lived there, I have experienced this, I share in your pain and suffering, we experience this together." There is profound hope in her stories and it is based on not only her experiences alone but on her faith. A faith that is real, active, full of deep spirit and blended with vulnerable humanity.<br />
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While on West Coast Live she shared from her new book, "Stitches." I purchased it and have only read the first chapter and everything within me resonates with her stories and journey. Anne LaMott does not mince words. She speaks of our suffering and pain as individuals and humanity. She is specific and her stories are compelling. I have already needed to stop, breathe, take in and reflect. She writes in such a way that an every person can relate and I have found myself saying, "finally there is no veneer on life's experiences, I can relate to this and it is filled with hope."<br />
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I am that every day person who suffers often without the veneer, who must often die to things I once held dear and sacred. I also am that person who has needed to wait at the tomb, as she speaks of in Chapter one. It is often long, unknowing and fearful. In time I have found genuine hope, been called out of the tomb and into a new portion of my life that has been filled with new experiences and an array of joyful surprises.<br />
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I already recommend "Stitches" and will share more as I read through it and experience its transforming graces.<br />
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May we hope together, stitched and made whole by the One who has woven and continues to weave us in the Holy Threes image.Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380715820683466398.post-48182901109853975072013-10-17T21:52:00.002-07:002013-10-17T21:52:14.287-07:00THE CHRIST OF REALITY<br />
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As I have transitioned these past few months adjusting to my life in a new way I have come to know Christ in a way of pragmatism, simplicity and reality. I am reminded of so many things such as the Celtic saying that hangs on my wall "Bidden or unbidden, God is Present." A simple but powerful statement "invited or not invited, God is Here!" I invite you to take a moment to ponder this, to reflect and to realize.<br />
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I sense God in "Spiritual Conversations" but what about our every day conversations, our conversations about the challenges in our lives? Our domestic lives, financial, health, our concerns for today and maybe even tomorrow? What about our emotional times? Oh yes, we sense God in our joyful and happy times but what about the times of disappointment, anger, frustration and depression? Do we sense God then? Often not but yet God is Present. I am beginning to learn that more and more. Is God present in my fears? Am I able to know that presence then or just when I am at peace? I am beginning to learn that if, by grace I take a breath perhaps even after I have changed the color of a room with my "creative" language that yes....God is Present. I am also learning that Presence through the voices of my friends who often see more clearly into my situation and speak truth, in love. When they do this that Presence that speaks through them dispels my fears, releases me into freedom and grants both grace and courage to take the next step. It is in the every day life that when attentive I know that Divine Presence.<br />
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I also have discovered in my readings and most recently through St. Therese of Avila who has been one of my companions on the journey says:<br />
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Let nothing disturb you,<br />
Let nothing frighten you,<br />
All things are passing away:<br />
God never changes.<br />
Patience obtains all things.<br />
Whoever has God lacks nothing;<br />
God alone suffices.”<br />
― Teresa of Ávila.<br />
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So it happens, so it becomes real to the core of my being. It becomes a chant, a prayer, a song but most of all...... a reality.<br />
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The song "Day by Day" also resonates within during these times:<br />
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Day by day<br />
Oh Dear Lord<br />
Three things I pray<br />
To see thee more clearly<br />
Love thee more dearly<br />
Follow thee more nearly<br />
Day by day<br />
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The Christ of Reality is present, invited or not invited, day by day.<br />
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<br />Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09599952040953604634noreply@blogger.com0