AGNUS DEI

I entered the church for the 5:30 mass, it was dimly lit, barren as though it were asleep. There before me, before us, up in the front for all to see was the Cross, without Christ's body brought to focus with the deep purple drape that unfolded behind it. It spoke of the journey that Jesus would make, that we are invited to make with him during these 40 days. A road that will give us an opportunity to let go of the habits, thoughts and behaviors that have held us back from freedom. A chance to go deeper into our hearts and by grace say "yes, yes I will follow, I too will pick up my cross and follow after you." 

There will be pain, there will be suffering but with it in time, new life. 

High above the Cross was the beautifully illumined image of a lamb and just before we partook of the Eucharistic meal the Cantor softly began to chant;

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem.

(Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world.

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world.

Lamb of God , you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.)

May each of us deeply experience the breadth of that chant in these 40 days.

SLEEP........BUT YET

In the past couple of months the importance of sleep has been in the news. It has appeared in print, the internet and in interviews on NPR. One of the main purposes for sleep, according to the experts is for our brains to be "swept clean." To be clean of the information that clutters and to bring to the forefront the memories and interactions we have had to the forefront. The purpose of this is so when we are awakened we are refreshed, alert and focused.

For me this begs the question during this season of Lent, "where does my heart, my mind need to be "swept clean?" Where do I need to confess and to forgive? What memories do I need to be refreshed and awakened?  As I begin this holy season of Lent, and journey through the cross and experience its cleansing and mercy, may I also come alive and be awakened in newness in the resurrection.

Kyrie Eleison

Blessed Lent.

IT IS SPRING!

The Season of Lent (spring, renewal) will begin once again this Wednesday with Ash Wednesday. It is a time we are invited to go deeper into our spiritual lives and to follow Jesus in his humanity and his divinity; "Fully Human, Fully Divine." In his humanity with all of his struggles and temptations and in his divinity, God Incarnate. This season is to be experienced. It is past human reasoning but a mystery of faith. Invited, called to descend in order to ascend and in between, letting go, dying to the things that grip us so tightly and sometimes or perhaps always suffering in some way deeply. None of us want to die or let go, none of us give up easily to change and none of us want to suffer but we all do. Our hearts long for change, healing and restoration but our fears and even our some times comfortable lifestyles resist it but yet we are asked, "Come follow me."

  

This invitation is not for the sake of suffering for sufferings sake or dying for dyings sake but for true change to occur, a new and renewed life to emerge, a resurrected life. One that is filled with life, compassion and mercy. One that pours out to others and reflects the goodness and love of Christ. We, by grace are asked to share in this.

How do we do this? For me this year I am being invited to gaze upon the crucified Christ. I remember doing this as a daily practice when I was a monk and in that gaze came a softening of my heart. I would sometimes simply gaze but other times have a phrase or mantra I would repeat. One example of this would be "You, oh Christ are full of mercy." Well, guess what? Christ already knows this but by this acknowledgment I not only placed myself under that cross full of mercy but my heart began to soften, to change. As this occurred I would be aware throughout the day and faith and grace were asked to be put into action!  Where, when and to whom was I being asked to show mercy to? It often came at the most inconvenient times, when I didn't want to, when I was in a situation where I might have been "right" or  felt transgressed. Really? Now you want me to show mercy?  

As my heart was softened so conversion took place deep within and when moments happened throughout the day to extend mercy so the transformation of my life emerged.

Where are you being invited this season of Lent? Where are you being asked to let go, to die so you might authentically live?

The words come to me, perhaps to you, "Be not afraid, I am with you."

It is by grace we are brought from death into life.

IN UNION

IN UNION

May I Become
Lost
In Your
Resurrected Spirit
Revivified
Reawakened

In Union

For All
Who I am
All that
I will be
But especially
In
This present
Moment

For I
Taste
and
See

Your Goodness
Your Grace
Your Everlasting
Enveloping
Love
Constant
in
Mercy
Ever
Encompassing


For This
I am
Ever Changed
Forever
Grateful

Will Simpson
26 February, 2014

A JOURNEY OF GRACE

A JOURNEY OF GRACE

"Nine Days of Grace" is a journey our Jesuit Community in San Francisco are going through this past week in a half. It has been based in the richness of the Gospels, the reading of the qualities of love from 1 Corinthians 13 and the humble prayer of Father Pedro Arupe, S.J.:

Nothing is more practical than

finding God, than

falling in Love

in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with,

what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.

It will decide

what will get you out of bed in the morning,

what you do with your evenings,

how you spend your weekends,

what you read, whom you know,

what breaks your heart,

and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in Love, stay in love,

and it will decide everything.

Each day and evening has had a focus on love. Love is kind, love is merciful, love is hope and humble. Love endures all things. Wow, wait a minute, all things? The other evening I found myself confessing to one of our priests the unforgiveness I have been carrying towards some long time and dear friends of mine. It has gnawed at me and caused deep inner turmoil and grief. I am accustomed to letting go and by grace have often found it easy to forgive but this time has been difficult. Love endures all things has been one of the messages and it has resounded deeply in my soul. 

The priest looked at me knowingly, with compassion and looked deeply not so much into my eyes but into my soul and shared his own journey and then said, "Ask Jesus how he endures you, ask him to remind you and say the "Our Father." Woe, "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Stopped, dead in my tracks, deep conviction and awareness but with it grace. The grace that is so willingly given to me with mercy. It is a digging into my true self that longs to have my heart converted and to have it be authentically so. To endure also means to face, to suffer and so it is I have been asked to do not for its own sake but for love and grace to do its work deeply so it might breathe life not only into my soul but to those who I forgive. In so doing grace bears the fruit of love and in so doing freedom and resurrection life.

May it be so.

Shhhh

Shhhhh, listen to the silence. Stillness, peace and in the early morning before dawn, darkness. No words, just silence. So it is in my soul. There is a gentle glimmer and movement and in the darkness which seems so enveloping is a subtle sliver of light, but yet silence. As the stars emanate their delicate light so does that Mystery quietly illumine my soul. There is not fear but stillness, solace, silence. A sense of Oneness with the Universe, the I Am, the One whose name can not be uttered because of awe. I am as calm water without ripples but deeply beneath there is a fresh, life giving spring. So is my soul, so is my soul.

MY BELOVED BECKONS

The Shepherd came to visit yesterday to gently guide my beloved friend from this side of the veil to the next. A ray of sunlight beamed through the window as the words were proclaimed; "The Lord is my Shepherd"......the Lord! It is he who leads me, guides me, sustains me in peace........I will not fear, for he with his Divine mercy and love comforts me. My soul is awakened and yet at rest. He has prepared a banqueting table for me......for me! I will live, dwell and abide in your house forever!

It was as though my friend was speaking, reassuring us, letting us know that all is alright, all is at peace, I am fine, I am free! I love you but my cherished one has called for me.

The light shown brightly as this was spoken, it was full of assurance and grace.

We went to the burial place, on green hills overlooking the city. It was pastoral, serene, full of resplendent light and it spoke not only of death but of new life, of resurrection hope. There before us was our daughter, our sister, our aunt and our friend.

 There was grief.

As the burial ceremony concluded there appeared two deer on the horizon whose silhouettes were sketched by the mid afternoon sun. Could it be they were her escorts to gently usher her through the thin veil, the veil of eternity?

"My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room."

There they were peering through the veil of eternity perhaps singing, "Come away my beloved."

"My beloved is he and he is mine."

Go in peace our beloved.

We will see you in the light.