MY BELOVED BECKONS

The Shepherd came to visit yesterday to gently guide my beloved friend from this side of the veil to the next. A ray of sunlight beamed through the window as the words were proclaimed; "The Lord is my Shepherd"......the Lord! It is he who leads me, guides me, sustains me in peace........I will not fear, for he with his Divine mercy and love comforts me. My soul is awakened and yet at rest. He has prepared a banqueting table for me......for me! I will live, dwell and abide in your house forever!

It was as though my friend was speaking, reassuring us, letting us know that all is alright, all is at peace, I am fine, I am free! I love you but my cherished one has called for me.

The light shown brightly as this was spoken, it was full of assurance and grace.

We went to the burial place, on green hills overlooking the city. It was pastoral, serene, full of resplendent light and it spoke not only of death but of new life, of resurrection hope. There before us was our daughter, our sister, our aunt and our friend.

 There was grief.

As the burial ceremony concluded there appeared two deer on the horizon whose silhouettes were sketched by the mid afternoon sun. Could it be they were her escorts to gently usher her through the thin veil, the veil of eternity?

"My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room."

There they were peering through the veil of eternity perhaps singing, "Come away my beloved."

"My beloved is he and he is mine."

Go in peace our beloved.

We will see you in the light.

YOU HAVE PREPARED A BANQUETING TABLE FOR ME

Today on our journey through Advent the Psalmist speaks to us about a banqueting table being prepared for us. In the Gospel we reflect on the loaves and fishes being served and in Isaiah we read about a feast. We are in the Advent/Christmas season where often great feasting takes place. Feasting always involves preparation, waiting for the delectable delights to be ready to savor and it involves community. There is the tantalizing fragrances of the various foods cooking and we wait in hopeful anticipation to partake in what will bring to us delight and nourishment.

In community we experience as we prepare and wait together a bonding that is like no other. We share stories, laugh with joy, remember those who used to join us, all while we prepare and wait.

Then there is the feast! We commune together, delight in not only the food that is presented but one another. We toast, give our praises to the hosts and merriment and mirth ensue!

This Advent season I can not be more engaged with these preparations and festivities as I have had spent them with family and friends. The closeness and love that lies deep.

This has become even more evident as the years have gone by and I have come to realize my feasting is much more than the tangible food but the feasting is of the heart. It is here where our spirits are fed and nourished, where we connect more deeply and where we experience the authentic Communion.

Fish and loaves to feed our bodies, wine and bread to feed our souls.

"You have prepared a banqueting table for me."

Yesterday, my friend accepted that invitation to be at that Banqueting Table and in so doing her wait has been fulfilled.

THE BRIDEGROOM COMES

Advent means to wait. To wait for the revelation and coming of Christ and to emerge from darkness into transformational light!

Today, I have a dear friend who is waiting and is journeying to that light. She is surrounded by loved ones who wait with her. It is hard to wait but at the same time there is great hope and expectation. The hope that in darkness, light awaits us and reveals itself and the expectation of hope fulfilled in death to resurrection.

There is a wooing taking place that gently whispers my friends name and invites her through the thin veil of this side of eternity to the other. She is surrounded by those who love her, hold her dear and we are challenged to let go of her as she is invited to where we have not yet received the invitation. We love her. We are in conflict to let her go. We want to hold on but yet she is invited. There is weeping, caressing, grieving and some anger but yet, she is invited.

Who is knocking on her heart, waiting at the door, greeting her with compassion and acceptance? Is it not for whom we wait, the Christ who is full of mercy and unconditional love.

Let us let go today releasing her to freedom, to life, from darkness to light for she has waited and her Bridegroom has come!

Anne Lamott

I had the pleasure of listening to the author Anne Lamott last Saturday on a radio program called West Coast Live. I was inspired, challenged and felt somehow affirmed. Ms. Lamott is real, authentic, gritty and fills ones senses with inspiration and hope. She is humorous as she shares everyday life and challenges but then she pauses and I sense her spirit shifting and then she shares deeply from her heart with mercy, understanding and compassion. Her heart unfolds with a deep sense of "I have lived there, I have experienced this, I share in your pain and suffering, we experience this together." There is profound hope in her stories and it is based on not only her experiences alone but on her faith. A faith that is real, active, full of deep spirit and blended with vulnerable humanity.

While on West Coast Live she shared from her new book, "Stitches." I purchased it and have only read the first chapter and everything within me resonates with her stories and journey. Anne LaMott does not mince words. She speaks of our suffering and pain as individuals and humanity. She is specific and her stories are compelling. I have already needed to stop, breathe, take in and reflect. She writes in such a way that an every person can relate and I have found myself saying, "finally there is no veneer on life's experiences, I can relate to this and it is filled with hope."

I am that every day person who suffers often without the veneer, who must often die to things I once held dear and sacred. I also am that person who has needed to wait at the tomb, as she speaks of in Chapter one. It is often long, unknowing and fearful. In time I have found genuine hope, been called out of the tomb and into a new portion of my life that has been filled with new experiences and an array of joyful surprises.

I already recommend "Stitches" and will share more as I read through it and experience its transforming graces.

May we hope together, stitched and made whole by the One who has woven and continues to weave us in the Holy Threes image.

THE CHRIST OF REALITY

As I have transitioned these past few months adjusting to my life in a new way I have come to know Christ in a way of pragmatism, simplicity and reality. I am reminded of so many things such as the Celtic saying that hangs on my wall "Bidden or unbidden, God is Present." A simple but powerful statement "invited or not invited, God is Here!" I invite you to take a moment to ponder this, to reflect and to realize.

I sense God in "Spiritual Conversations" but what about our every day conversations, our conversations about the challenges in our lives? Our domestic lives, financial, health, our concerns for today and maybe even tomorrow? What about our emotional times? Oh yes, we sense God in our joyful and happy times but what about the times of disappointment, anger, frustration and depression? Do we sense God then? Often not but yet God is Present. I am beginning to learn that more and more. Is God present in my fears? Am I able to know that presence then or just when I am at peace? I am beginning to learn that if, by grace I take a breath perhaps even after I have changed the color of a room with my "creative" language that yes....God is Present. I am also learning that Presence through the voices of my friends who often see more clearly into my situation and speak truth, in love. When they do this that Presence that speaks through them dispels my fears, releases me into freedom and grants both grace and courage to take the next step. It is in the every day life that when attentive I know that Divine Presence.

I also have discovered in my readings and most recently through St. Therese of Avila who has been one of my companions on the journey says:

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.”
― Teresa of Ávila.

So it happens, so it becomes real to the core of my being. It becomes a chant, a prayer, a song but most of all...... a reality.

The song "Day by Day" also resonates within during these times:

Day by day
Oh Dear Lord
Three things I pray
To see thee more clearly
Love thee more dearly
Follow thee more nearly
Day by day

The Christ of Reality is present, invited or not invited, day by day.

DEATH AND RESURRECTION
A Reflective Response to "Making Our Deaths Gifts"

In the late 90's I was formed as a Benedictine Monk. One of my daily practices was to sit before the Cross with the Corpus of Christ and say "You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life." As I was meditating and saying this that still, small voice began to gently knock on the door of my heart. Clearly it said "Do you, do you really believe that?" Of course I do, I am a Christian! Once again I began the chant, "You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life." That voice returned, nudging, inviting me to beg the question, "Do you, do you really believe that?" This question occurred three time but on the third time I paused knowing something greater, deeper was posing this question. I knew it was the Christ whom I sat before both in image and in presence. The Christ not only of Divinity but of humanity. The Christ who suffered, had fear, died and knew resurrection. I was being asked to face my fear of death, I needed to reckon with the fact that I was unsure of this resurrection that accompanied death. Oh I was sure of death all right but the resurrection? As I did this that still, small voice returned and it made a promise to me, "I will teach you many deaths in your life so you will know deep within you heart many resurrections so on that day I call you to your final death you will say without doubt, without fear, "You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life and you will say it with all of your body, soul and spirit!"

Since that time it has come to pass in relationships, in health challenges and in every day simple challenges that I have been asked to let go and die. Always Christ has appeared beside me, around me, beneath and above me and sometime it appeared he was absent in my own blindness and darkness. Was he? Never.

One month ago I had a below the knee amputation and needless to say I was stunned. As I have journeyed through this experience I have known fear, doubt and frustration. I have known another death. I have also experienced grace, letting go and being grateful. Grateful for my friends and family who have prayed for me, served me in practical ways and through these graces brought me to my knees in humility and in acceptance. It is here that I have known the Christ of suffering, the Christ of death and the Christ of the Resurrection and Life! I am humbled. My complacent self is revived and I am able to see where I was blind to the love of Christ through my family and friends and say to them, "I love you!" From death into life, from prison into freedom and a proclamation of heart that resounds,"You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life!"

"LOVE HAS COME FOR YOU"

"LOVE HAS COME FOR YOU"

This past weekend I attended a San Francisco happening, "Hardly Strictly Bluegrass." It was a three day event of which I attended two and it is said there were as many as 750,000 people from all over the country as well as internationally in attendance. The event is free as a generous benefactor Warren Helman left a trust for years to come. The event had big names such as Bonnie Raitt, Chris Isaak's,  Steve Martin and Steep Canyon Rangers and Emmylou Harris to name a few. It also featured some less known performers such as Mike Harris and the Roseland Rhythm Revue. It was this group that particularly struck me.

Throughout the weekend I could not help but notice the kindness of the audience to one another, the community spirit and often the preferring of one another. Yes there was the familiar, sweet smell in the air of natural products being smoked but really that was the exception. What was really in the air was a sweeter fragrance that at first was subtle but in time revealed itself increasingly. This was not a scent of one of the five senses but rather a sixth sense, a sense of the heart. 

All around was the Divine's creation, the beauty of the preserved park with its beautiful trees,  aromatic and dazzling plants and flowers, the radiance of the sun but most of all Creation's crown, the people. The people who were created in the image of their Creator and who shined with that image. 

Throughout the weekend I sat in the disabled section, which I might add was more often than not right in front of the stage. Perhaps one of the most beautiful examples of love I saw was observing a group of attendants with some mentally challenged adults. There they were swaying to the music, holding hands, hugging, laughing and most evidently loving not only the music but one another.  It was noticeable the bond they had. What freedom! I observed it in the simple things when there was a long line for the rest room and people allowed those who had a greater need to go before them without grumbling but with grace. Trust me, that is a lot at an event like this!

Mostly I witnessed it on Sunday morning when Mike Harris and the Roseland Rhythm began to play. Boom.....they exploded with life and brought a Hallelujah (God be Praised) spirit to the place! It was Gospel music at its best and you knew it was not just words or music to them but life exuding and flowing from and through them. They were radiant from their countenance to their message, "Love Has Come For You." 

They also sang and spoke of mercy. It was clear that this message of love and mercy, the message of forgiveness and letting go went deeply into all. Hope, freedom and gratefulness came from the crowd and it took place in a park, on a Sunday morning. 

I could only think about the Sermon on the Mount, the feeding of the 5,000 that was and is filled with compassion but this 2,000 years later took place in a park, a message for all,

 "Love and Mercy Has Come For You!"