Thursday, October 17, 2013

THE CHRIST OF REALITY

As I have transitioned these past few months adjusting to my life in a new way I have come to know Christ in a way of pragmatism, simplicity and reality. I am reminded of so many things such as the Celtic saying that hangs on my wall "Bidden or unbidden, God is Present." A simple but powerful statement "invited or not invited, God is Here!" I invite you to take a moment to ponder this, to reflect and to realize.

I sense God in "Spiritual Conversations" but what about our every day conversations, our conversations about the challenges in our lives? Our domestic lives, financial, health, our concerns for today and maybe even tomorrow? What about our emotional times? Oh yes, we sense God in our joyful and happy times but what about the times of disappointment, anger, frustration and depression? Do we sense God then? Often not but yet God is Present. I am beginning to learn that more and more. Is God present in my fears? Am I able to know that presence then or just when I am at peace? I am beginning to learn that if, by grace I take a breath perhaps even after I have changed the color of a room with my "creative" language that yes....God is Present. I am also learning that Presence through the voices of my friends who often see more clearly into my situation and speak truth, in love. When they do this that Presence that speaks through them dispels my fears, releases me into freedom and grants both grace and courage to take the next step. It is in the every day life that when attentive I know that Divine Presence.

I also have discovered in my readings and most recently through St. Therese of Avila who has been one of my companions on the journey says:

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.”
― Teresa of Ávila.

So it happens, so it becomes real to the core of my being. It becomes a chant, a prayer, a song but most of all...... a reality.

The song "Day by Day" also resonates within during these times:

Day by day
Oh Dear Lord
Three things I pray
To see thee more clearly
Love thee more dearly
Follow thee more nearly
Day by day

The Christ of Reality is present, invited or not invited, day by day.



DEATH AND RESURRECTION
A Reflective Response to "Making Our Deaths Gifts"

In the late 90's I was formed as a Benedictine Monk. One of my daily practices was to sit before the Cross with the Corpus of Christ and say "You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life." As I was meditating and saying this that still, small voice began to gently knock on the door of my heart. Clearly it said "Do you, do you really believe that?" Of course I do, I am a Christian! Once again I began the chant, "You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life." That voice returned, nudging, inviting me to beg the question, "Do you, do you really believe that?" This question occurred three time but on the third time I paused knowing something greater, deeper was posing this question. I knew it was the Christ whom I sat before both in image and in presence. The Christ not only of Divinity but of humanity. The Christ who suffered, had fear, died and knew resurrection. I was being asked to face my fear of death, I needed to reckon with the fact that I was unsure of this resurrection that accompanied death. Oh I was sure of death all right but the resurrection? As I did this that still, small voice returned and it made a promise to me, "I will teach you many deaths in your life so you will know deep within you heart many resurrections so on that day I call you to your final death you will say without doubt, without fear, "You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life and you will say it with all of your body, soul and spirit!"

Since that time it has come to pass in relationships, in health challenges and in every day simple challenges that I have been asked to let go and die. Always Christ has appeared beside me, around me, beneath and above me and sometime it appeared he was absent in my own blindness and darkness. Was he? Never.

One month ago I had a below the knee amputation and needless to say I was stunned. As I have journeyed through this experience I have known fear, doubt and frustration. I have known another death. I have also experienced grace, letting go and being grateful. Grateful for my friends and family who have prayed for me, served me in practical ways and through these graces brought me to my knees in humility and in acceptance. It is here that I have known the Christ of suffering, the Christ of death and the Christ of the Resurrection and Life! I am humbled. My complacent self is revived and I am able to see where I was blind to the love of Christ through my family and friends and say to them, "I love you!" From death into life, from prison into freedom and a proclamation of heart that resounds,"You Oh Christ are the Resurrection and the Life!"

Friday, October 11, 2013

"LOVE HAS COME FOR YOU"

"LOVE HAS COME FOR YOU"

This past weekend I attended a San Francisco happening, "Hardly Strictly Bluegrass." It was a three day event of which I attended two and it is said there were as many as 750,000 people from all over the country as well as internationally in attendance. The event is free as a generous benefactor Warren Helman left a trust for years to come. The event had big names such as Bonnie Raitt, Chris Isaak's,  Steve Martin and Steep Canyon Rangers and Emmylou Harris to name a few. It also featured some less known performers such as Mike Harris and the Roseland Rhythm Revue. It was this group that particularly struck me.

Throughout the weekend I could not help but notice the kindness of the audience to one another, the community spirit and often the preferring of one another. Yes there was the familiar, sweet smell in the air of natural products being smoked but really that was the exception. What was really in the air was a sweeter fragrance that at first was subtle but in time revealed itself increasingly. This was not a scent of one of the five senses but rather a sixth sense, a sense of the heart. 

All around was the Divine's creation, the beauty of the preserved park with its beautiful trees,  aromatic and dazzling plants and flowers, the radiance of the sun but most of all Creation's crown, the people. The people who were created in the image of their Creator and who shined with that image. 

Throughout the weekend I sat in the disabled section, which I might add was more often than not right in front of the stage. Perhaps one of the most beautiful examples of love I saw was observing a group of attendants with some mentally challenged adults. There they were swaying to the music, holding hands, hugging, laughing and most evidently loving not only the music but one another.  It was noticeable the bond they had. What freedom! I observed it in the simple things when there was a long line for the rest room and people allowed those who had a greater need to go before them without grumbling but with grace. Trust me, that is a lot at an event like this!

Mostly I witnessed it on Sunday morning when Mike Harris and the Roseland Rhythm began to play. Boom.....they exploded with life and brought a Hallelujah (God be Praised) spirit to the place! It was Gospel music at its best and you knew it was not just words or music to them but life exuding and flowing from and through them. They were radiant from their countenance to their message, "Love Has Come For You." 

They also sang and spoke of mercy. It was clear that this message of love and mercy, the message of forgiveness and letting go went deeply into all. Hope, freedom and gratefulness came from the crowd and it took place in a park, on a Sunday morning

I could only think about the Sermon on the Mount, the feeding of the 5,000 that was and is filled with compassion but this 2,000 years later took place in a park, a message for all,

 "Love and Mercy Has Come For You!"

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

"FOR EVERY SEASON THERE IS A PURPOSE"



Throughout my life I have been known to be active, confident, take charge and assertive when I thought it was necessary. In fact I remember taking the psychological exam, the Myers Briggs a number of years ago and the person giving the exam who was the "expert" exclaimed to me, " you know, you would have made a great General!"
Another instance was about a dozen years ago when I had a medical crisis and one of my cousins found me unconscious. She eventually was able to awaken me but in the meantime she had also called my older sister. When I heard my sister's voice I immediately leapt out of my seat and shouted, "i'm back, I'm fine and I AM IN CHARGE!" Wow, let's not even discuss that pathology, that is another completely different story!

I have often been proud of my ability to lead, to make tough decisions and to take charge. Another way of putting it would be in control. Now that does not sound as gallant but yet it has been a part of my journey. 

I have discovered that being in control is an illusion and yet it appears and disguises itself as real. It is painful to let go and more often than not I have run the gamete of mature rationalizations to childlike and yes sometimes even infantile expressions of screaming, kicking and biting all the way before I let go while I tightly held onto whatever it was I felt I had "control" over and had to give up.

This was also a season of activism, energy, fresh ideas and vision. It was full of life, community and laughter. May I not also forget my feistiness and having to be right.

Throughout each season of my life Christ has walked closely beside me almost always me not being aware. Sometimes I wonder what he may have been thinking. "Oh, he will learn."  "Oy, what a fireball, what are we going to do with him?!"  Always patient, always long suffering and always full of mercy and unconditional love. Do I have scars from some of those falls or from those times when I have walked into those walls of life? Absolutely. At the same time miracles have occurred such as once in awhile I actually get it!

Seasons change, sometimes abruptly but more often than not gently, slowly, a period of transition.  As of late the latter has been what I have experienced. At first I thought abruptly but then I realized I was quietly spoken to in the depths of my heart that I was in the midst of change. I recognized it when I would sit in the early morning and listen. I heard it in the voices of those whom I worked with, played with and simply encountered throughout my day. Often unknown to them. I perceived it in the movement of my soul.

It is an occasion to let go. Living in the present moment realizing I am not in control. There is freedom in this but also fear. Fear of the unknown and often feeling irresponsible in not knowing what is next, not having a plan when our culture cries out for one. Freedom in living, abiding in the present moment, today, not yesterday, not tomorrow but now. Giving over, letting go, trusting, believing that "All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."
Julian of Norwich, 1342 - 1416
All this is by grace.

"For Every SeasonThere Is A Purpose."