Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A QUAKE WITHIN MY SOUL

There is a rumbling in my soul
A rumbling that is as the shifting of the depths of the earth
It is subtle but gently echoing
Letting me know
That change is about to take place deep within

Am I afraid? Curiously not
Expectant perhaps

For deep within the chasms of my soul
Lies a flow like molten that is fluid and hot
Longing for the moment to erupt
To explode
Into something new
Something
Profoundly visceral
That shifts the plates of my inner man
As the earth before it quakes

It is dynamic
But at the same time
Fear does not prevail

Flow molten river
Open the passions of my heart
New unexplored places
That offers adventure
Mystery
Newness
And reveal
An entire dimension
Of you,
That has been hidden

I am not yet able to speak
Not because you are distant
Not because you are silent
But rather

Your divine mystery
Is reverberating in my soul
Asking, pursing
To be revealed


For I have longed to know
I have beckoned you without words

I have sought to embrace
All that you have

But yet
Not really knowing what it is

Only knowing
It beckons me

It calls me
To the source of all life

Come o' essence of life itself
Of whom I cannot explain
With human reasoning

Draw closer and have your way
And
Let my soul quake
My molten heart flow
With the transforming energy
Of your life giving power


Will Simpson,
May 11, 2011

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Madeline, my teacher

She is a petite woman, in her late 60's perhaps early 70's. Her lines on her face speak of a life of struggle and perseverance but her eyes, they are deep pools of a history that has both sorrow and hope. They speak "Look deep for I have seen much, I have a story to tell."

For a number of weeks now on my way home from work I have seen Madeline rummaging through the recyclable trash and food compost gathering the cans and crushing them and sorting through the freshly baked loaves of bread from this upscale bakery as if sifting for gold and only choosing the best. " The most organic, the most healthy and tasty of them all", she says to me. She recites the macrobiotic table like you or I would say the alphabet and she knows precisely how to mix the right amount of protein with her grains to the absolute detail of the grams. "I might not always remember my middle name but I do know this she exclaims with confidence. I have known this for over 40 years!" she states with exuberance.

Madeline tells me about the economy knowing all the right names, the statistics, stocks and outsourcing of jobs and has obviously been reading about it for years but mostly............experiencing it. You see Madeline lives in a very small apartment where she has resided for decades and says "You know I have to make ends meet, I get $845 per month and that must cover rent, food, my medical expenses.....everything." Madeline does not say this with bitterness or anger but matter of factly and grieves the state of our nation, our world. She speaks clearly , with wisdom, insight and obviously a woman who has learned from her every day life.

"I was in marketing you know when I used to work." I acknowledge her experience and she continues on without missing a beat. "I like this particular bread, this fabulous whole wheat with peanut butter and this one, this seeded one with vegetables when I can get them."

"What is your name?" she asks, "My name is Bill", I reply. "Nice to meet you Bill, would you like to share a piece of bread with me? It is fresh, see, right out of this bag and it has not been touched." I am taken back.....what share this from a compost can? Where has it been? I'm not used to this, I quietly think within myself, is this safe?

Madeline takes the slice of bread out of the bag and offers it to me but then looks deeply into my eyes and says, no, no, take two" and holds out her hand to give them to me. I pause, I let go of all my fear at this moment, reach out my hand and say "Thank you Madeline" and then I knew without another word being spoken we were connected with every cell, every breath and in this present moment we were partakers, together of the Bread of LIfe.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

POOR IN SPIRIT

Over the past few weeks I have been reflecting on the poor. Yes, I know a much discussed topic among so many of various faiths. I work so much with the poor, their poverty only recently has astounded me, moved me and brought me to deep compassion. I can not do this by myself for honestly, I don't have it in me but perhaps by mercy I see with different eyes, the eyes of the Divine. It is here that I see our Creator deep within them and they are my brother's, my sister's and they are me, in spirit and in their humanity. Can I see them as the Divine does, with mercy, with acceptance, with love? Often we as a society are asked "Why are there the poor?" That is a question that even Jesus did not get into directly but only to say "the poor will be with you always." Am I willing to give of myself, be present? I am saddened often by the injustice of our culture and have found myself speaking up more and more sometimes with risk, with consequences but there is something deep within that beckons me to do so.

As I have thought about this another poor comes to mind, the poor in spirit. Here I am moved beyond words. I am moved because at some point in our lives we are all poor in spirit. We long for truth, authenticity, something greater than ourselves We desire the Greater, they I Am, the Mystery. We desire to experience and know at any cost, Where did I come from? Why am I here? and Where am I going? Can I live on this earth in fullness, in truth, in authenticity? Can I be real , open and naked? Our culture tells us "No" but our Creator tells us "Yes." St. Augustine of Hippo states "Our hearts were made for you O' God and our hearts are not at rest until they are at rest in you?" Is your heart at rest, is mine.? What a gift to be invited to long for truth but yet often so painful but in it as we are purged, we are awakened and healed and in this given new life, new perspective, given.......the Kingdom of God that dwells within us, within you, within me. May it be so and may we, may I accept this gift when it comes through another, life's circumstances and by the Creator them self. Won't you listen to that stirring, to that invitation?

Open
Surrender
Pain and Grief
You ask
that I offer
unto Thee

Open to Your heart
to another, others
that You have placed
before my heart

To bear
To take in
Not that I
Might be burdened
but
so others
can know
Your love

Your patience

Your embracing love

Let me be free
Authentic and true

Giving myself to others
Giving myself to You

Unravel the veil
That Shrouds my heart

That all may come to know
Healing and Grace

and fear

Once again

would be

Dissolved

by your
most benevolent
Love

That I might know
That I might let go
and
Give of myself

Unreservedly
To You

O' Lord

Then Your Utmost Compassion
to others

Have mercy on my Soul

Will Simpson, February 5, 2011